Be Your Own Fairy Godmother

Be Your Own Fairy Godmother

Be My Fairy Godmother Today

October 12th, 2014 Filed under: Random thoughts by Charlotte Henley Babb
Walking Off Heaven's Shore by Charlotte Henley Babb

Walking Off Heaven’s Shore

Grab a free download of my newest ebook: Walking Off Heaven’s Shore.

Ten-Piece Bucket of Southern Fried Fiction with Fixings

  1. Walking off Heaven’s Shore: Washed in the flood of knowing
  2. Intervention: Mothers and daughters–can it ever work?
  3. Turning Point : Friday morning, a cup of coffee, a decision
  4. Pachelbel’s Canyons: Mall Markswoman Maintains Muzak Manifested Mayhem
  5. Walk the Dog: Who’s holding which end of the leash?
  6. The Fire Inside: Can he stand the heat?
  7. Kitchen Witchery: The lost art of female bonding across generations
  8. Swamp of the Soul: You only see the snakes if you look for them.
  9. Storm Front: Revenge  served cold can be slippery when wet.
  10. The last time I dated a serial killer: A literate man is hard to find

Even if you don’t have a Kindle; read on your phone as I do, or you can convert for  a Nook or iPad instead of a Kindle here: Use the download to computer option. I don’t put DRM on my books.

If you like it, leave a review!

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Two Steps Back

December 25th, 2012 Filed under: Making Change by Charlotte Henley Babb

When we start on a new adventure—changing some aspect of our lives in a conscious way—we often use the metaphor of a path, often one that goes through a deep forest and up a mountain, an image of struggle, loneliness and hardship. American culture in particular reveres the lone hero, the myth of the cowboy, the one against the hardships and the many.

It often seems that we are only taking baby steps and that for every two steps we take forward, we take one back. It’s hard to see day-to-day progress on a long-term goal, especially when the true goal is a change in behavior, outlook or philosophy.

But in reality, life is more like a dance.
Dancers of Life
Moving together with the others on the dance floor, even if we are dancing without a visible partner, there is always the rhythm of life, the melody of experience and the partnership with the Higher Self that we wish to become.  Sometimes we forget that in this case, we are taking the lead, and the old self is required to follow.

“Ginger Rogers did everything
Fred Astaire did,

but backwards and in high heels.”

One episode of Star Trek TNG shows Dr. Crusher teaching Data to dance. He gets the motions of tap dancing immediately, but the waltz is much more difficult, as it involves moving with music, turning around, and being aware of all the other people in the room who are also moving somewhat randomly across and around the floor. This many calculations challenged even the ever-intrepid android.

It was difficult because he had to calculate the movements. He could not relax and feel what to do. Just like a new skill, habit, or routine is uncomfortable, we have to rely on new calculations until we can develop new reflexes, new thoughts, and new motions.

It’s not one step forward and two steps back, but long-short-short, or step-step-glide, or in the case of line dancing, eight steps and then turn to the right. Learning a new skill, replacing a habit, or following a new eating plan is a dance with our old selves, across a crowded dance floor of our current habits, daily obligations and all the other things that don’t change as we are learning.

Expecting to make daily linear progress is like trying to march across a crowded dance floor—we’ll bump into a lot of obstacles and make both ourselves and others unhappy along the way. It works better to know where you are going, but to go with the flow of the dance to get there.

Expect to spend time building new skills, allowing ourselves to become comfortable and relaxed. In the meantime, “Celebrate. Celebrate. Dance to the music.”

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When Your Wand is Not Quite Enough

November 27th, 2012 Filed under: Making Change by Charlotte Henley Babb

Even a dandelion needs some help distributing its seeds.

Sometimes even fairy godmothers need professional help.

I’ve made a lot of changes in my life over the last ten years, and in many ways, I’m not the person I was then. Now that I have my home to myself, with no pets,  no spouse and no offspring, I have the opportunity to remake myself and recreate my life.

Despite my affirmations, dowsing and other activities, I find that I need some outside, professional help.

So, I am working with a transformational life coach. She is not like a therapist, but she is helping me decide what I want, and then helping me decide how to get there.

This has been one of the most important decisions of my life. I’ve been in therapy before, and while it helps, there are some things that need hands-on attention, and my helping hands are the ones at the ends of my arms.

But I need to know what to do, not in a sense of “How did I get this way?” but in the sense of “What way do I want to be?” and “How can I make changes that will lead me in that direction?”

My coach is helping me to explore these ideas, and she knows how to ask me a question that makes me think. Her methods always make me feel better at the end of a session, instead of ripping me open and then leaving me oozing at the 50-minute mark.

My coach gets coaching too, so I feel good that what she does is also helpful for her. Coaching works a lot better for me than antidepressants, binge-eating or shopping sprees.  The cost is more reasonable too.

Think about getting a transformational life coach, if you aren’t going in the direction you’d like do. I can recommend a good one.

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When Dreams Come True

October 10th, 2012 Filed under: Making Change by Charlotte Henley Babb

When a dream comes true, the dreamer walks into a different world, one that did not exist before. Sometimes in the excitement and trepidation of the newness of the manifestation, it’s easy to forget to be grateful.

My dream was to become a published author, and now that I have a book, I have to learn to market it, to promote it and myself. I am thrilled and overwhelmed at the same time. New tasks call out to be done, new decisions to be made, new skills to learn.

As an author, I have different priorities than I do as an aspiring writer. It becomes more important to get the next book out, to put myself out there, to take new steps that I could not take before.

Amidst the joy of arrival comes a bit of grief at the end of the journey, a sense of loss that the familiar longing has been fulfilled. An empty moment appears at the top of the mountain—the goal has been reached. Now what?

Fill that moment with gratitude.

Taking a moment to breathe, being thankful for a bit of respite before moving on to the next step gives me time to acknowledge the blessings of this journey before I start on the next. Standing on the top of one mountain gives the dreamer a perspective of where she has been, and what her options are for the next step. What a gift. How thankful I am to be here.

Now I need to add to my to-do list to stop every day and be thankful for being at the next step.


Deciding to be Okay

September 6th, 2012 Filed under: Allowing by Charlotte Henley Babb
Walking away from the Past - woman walking on a rock wall

Walking away from the Past

When it is time, the child leaves home, ready for her own life on her own feet, to try her wings and to soar. That is when the mother learns how to become herself, if she has not already done that work. She can begin the work, and decide to be okay with what that work brings, or she can suffer and sink into loneliness.  I decided to be okay with it.

This is my time with myself, my true croning as I survey my empty nest. I had a party ten years ago, when I turned fifty, claiming the end of my mother phase and embracing my life as a single woman. Eleven years later, it is time for reassessment, for evaluation, and for redirection.

We never complete our reinvention of ourselves, whether we continue to clone the old self, or dare to grow a new image and experience being a beginner again. It helps to be okay with the choices we make. It helps to be okay with letting the discomfort of change flow through, allowing it to pass and not holding on to it.

I feel as though I have lost a best friend, even though she is only a couple thousand miles away, not even as far as some of my friends. It’s not like I can’t call her one the phone any time, but that is hanging on, dragging her down, tying a string to her foot like some junebug.

It’s time for me to let go, and to find my own new path.

I’ve decided to be okay with how things are, and I remind myself when those whiny feelings of abandonment and loss crawl across my awareness.  I see that I’m not taking some actions that might need taking, but I’m okay with that, for the moment, as I am working on myself.

I too have wings to spread, and there’s still some soaring left in this old bird.


We’re not in Disneyland, Toto

August 8th, 2012 Filed under: Found Wisdom by Charlotte Henley Babb

I read an article that breaks down the reality behind every fantasy we have about what our lives could be like–you know that fantasy that we can have it all, that we can do anything, that life is effortless.  Surprisingly, the realities are not hard-edged, but are inspiring in themselves:

  1. I can do meaningful things that will have an impact on the world.
  2. I earn what I work for.
  3. It is always all right to ask for help. I can’t expect to be able to do everything.
  4. I can achieve realistic goals that use my natural talents
  5. I can move on from inevitable failures that will teach me.

Read the The Disneyland Effect and see if you find it as uplifting as I did .

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Never let conditions stop you from granting your own wish

July 12th, 2012 Filed under: Found Wisdom by Charlotte Henley Babb

If you say you can’t, guess what, you are right.  Outer conditions change all the time, and we are all bombarded with the mass consciousness of “gloom, doom and ka-boom” of the economy, political hype and international unrest.  But here’s an excerpt from Melissa Galt’s blog Prosper by Design, “How to Avoid Failure Every Time . . .

Failure is Her Certainty
In my ever optimistic way of suggesting how she could put herself back out there (sometimes I just don’t learn!), I got another earful. This time she insisted that she would fail. And with those words, I guaranteed her she would. She seemed to be fueled by the the idea that getting back out there would only result in failure and was entirely unwilling to look at anything else. She has decided that unless or until the economy is ready, there is no way she can succeed as an artist or really as anything else! This really bothered me because I realized that you may be thinking the same thing.

Give the rest of the article a read. The wand is in your hand. Get your wish clearly in your mind, and then find out how to make it come true.

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Zest for living

April 30th, 2012 Filed under: A to Z Challenge, Making Change by Charlotte Henley Babb

Zest is a culinary term for the rind of a citrus fruit, like lemons or oranges, which is often grated into a recipe to release the flavors of the oils that give the fruit its characteristic smell.

Grating zest takes a bit of work, as the skin of the fruit is thin, and only the outer layer has the zesty flavor. But it does not take a lot of zest to give the recipe that nuance–a teaspoon is a lot.

What are you adding to your day to give it some zest? Are you eating fresh fruit? Practicing deep breathing? Taking a walk to clear your mind? Trying a new activity? Practicing a new skill? Speaking to someone who might become a friend?

Are you willing to grate away a bit of the outer crust of your life to spread its flavor? Can you bring in a little flavor from someone else’s perspective to refresh your own outlook on life?

It doesn’t take much to change up a routine, do something a little different, to get out of the rut of the day to day world. A little zest, a little shift in flavor, goes a long way to grease the gears of creativity and raise the vibration to a higher key in the song of life.

Open your mind to adding a dash of something different to add to your zest and smell the fragrance of a new day.

This is the last post of the A to Z Challenge. Thank you so much for visiting and for your comments.


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Yeah Right? or YES!

April 28th, 2012 Filed under: A to Z Challenge, Manifesting by Charlotte Henley Babb

A professor English labored on an on about how a double negative actually made a positive, but then he said, “Of course a double-positive never expresses a negative.”

From the back of the classroom came “Yeah. Right.”

Are you negating your positive attitude with skeptical language and lack of belief? If you don’t have an attitude of expectation that your wishes will come true, and you are not acting as if they will come true, they won’t.

Just writing affirmations and chanting and staring at a wall for hours will not do anything to change your life unless you are keeping your mind in a positive, expectant, and allowing vibration. In fact, just appreciating whatever you are seeing that pleases you helps you more than forcing yourself to write more, to chant more, to stare more at the wall.

Because of the nature of time/space, wishes don’t poof immediately into our experience. It takes time for the Universe/Source/God(dess) and Everything to get to us what we are wanting. But we have to align with it, say yes while we are waiting, and take whatever actions we are inspired to do.

Fretting over the wait, being skeptical of the process, focusing on the lack of what we want changes the attraction wave, and what we get is more of what we don’t want. It takes practice to turn the mind continuously toward that which we like and not to pay attention to the other stuff.

Contrast is necessary. Some things you perceive will not be to your liking. These things are necessary to show you what you do want, what you can say “yes” to instead of “yeah right.”  Train your mind to look for what you want, and to savor the time needed for it to manifest in your space.


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X marks the spot

April 27th, 2012 Filed under: A to Z Challenge, Making Change by Charlotte Henley Babb

Whenever you see a map for a mall or a trail or a fire escape, X marks the spot where you are. If you don’t know where you are, you can’t get anywhere else. Of course you have to know where you want to go as well, both physically and metaphorically, to map out a path to get there, or at least to start walking in that direction.

Where are you now? Being here  now, living in this present moment,  breathing in and breathing out, helps  you bring all your resources to bear  on the next step of your journey. If  you are scattered in the past and the future, cringing in fear of what might happen and staggering under perceived shortcomings, you aren’t here now.

Take a moment to assess where you are. What time is it? What do you see before you that pleases you? How’s your heart rate? Stretch and take a deep breath to clear your mind. Now, here is your next stop? What do you intend to do today?

In everything you do, there is an X factor, a variable: you. You decide what do to. You decide where to go. You pick a goal, and you take the steps to reach it. Your level of success depends on you, the most important variable, and the only one you control.

So look at your feet, and see where you are. X marks the spot of the beginning of today’s adventure. Where will you go today?